Awkward Situation

I got to admit that woman is a strange and complicate creature.

We love to dress prettily and did everything to make us look pretty and attractive. We even throwing lots of money or we preferably called it an investment onto the beauty products, clothes, accessories and etc just to make us look pretty. With an ‘evil’ intention of getting an attraction or lingering gaze from men. Eeewww, disgusting~ But it’s a true story.

We hope to obtain an approval and astounding expression from people around us especially getting the attention of the guy whom we have a crush on. Who doesn’t like to look pretty and attractive? It is the girls’ nature yearning for a pretty face and sexy body.  

And when we finally succeed to caught the attention, we are backing away. Oh wait, it is not appropriate to use ‘we’ here because I am not sure about other girls. But for me, yes. I felt extremely awkward and uncomfortable when people are really gazing at me or flattering me. *Blush* Sort of social anxiety, I guess. My whole body went rigid without my realization. I did not dare to make eye contact with people. I would either looking away or just glued to my seat, not daring to move. Not to mention, greeting people. People have mistaken my shyness as bigheaded or snobbish. *Guilty face* That really put me in an awkward situation. My shyness had caused me lots of unnecessarily misunderstanding.

As a typical Asian woman, I am not accustomed to the compliments. I gauchely dismissed them with “Aiya, nolar. I still looked fucking ugly and fat.” Okay, most people hate to hear this kind of reply. Am I right? So, now I learned to say “thank you” instead although at times, I still feel self-conscious and uncomfortable. I wondered whether people would take it as a polite gesture or would be thinking that I am just another ‘bigheaded’ girl who thought that she is pretty and blah blah blah. We couldn’t please everyone and controlling their voice of mind.

But I would learn to continue saying ‘thank you’ when people flattering me because one day, when I have wrinkles all over my face and aged, I couldn’t expect and might not hearing people flattering me anymore.